<p>Talk to your child about the dangers of tobacco, alcohol, and drugs. Knowing the facts will help your child make healthy choices.</p><h4>What do I need to say?</h4><p>When you talk to your child about tobacco, alcohol, and drugs:</p><ul><li>Find out what they already know</li><li>Teach them the facts</li><li>Be prepared to answer your child’s questions</li><li>Give them clear rules</li><li>Talk with them about how to say “no"</li></ul>

The Basics: Overview

<h4>When should I start talking with my child?</h4><p>Start early. By preschool, most children have seen adults smoking cigarettes or drinking alcohol, either in real life, on TV, or online.</p><p>Make sure your child knows right from the start that you think it’s important to stay safe and avoid drugs.</p><p>Here are more reasons to start the conversation early:</p><ul><li>Almost 9 out of 10 people who smoke start smoking before they turn 18</li><li>By the time they're in 8th grade, about 4 in 10 kids say alcohol is easy to get</li><li>At age 12, some kids are already using drugs like marijuana or prescription pain relievers</li></ul><h5>What if my child is older?</h5><p>It’s never too late to start the conversation about avoiding drugs. Even if your teen may have tried tobacco, alcohol, or drugs, you can still talk about making healthy choices and how to say “no” next time.</p><p>Get more tips to&nbsp;<a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/http/www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/tween-and-teen-health/in-depth/teen-drug-abuse/art-20045921?p=1&_label_=help+your+teen+stay+away+from+drugs" id="anch_41">help your teen stay away from drugs</a>.</p>

The Basics: When to Start

<h4>What do I need to know about prescriptions and other medicines?</h4><p>When you talk to your child about the dangers of drugs, don’t forget about drugs that may already be in your home, like prescription or over-the-counter (OTC) medicines.</p><p>Prescription or OTC drug misuse is when a person uses a drug to get high, or use them differently than they’re supposed to. People might misuse drugs by:</p><ul><li>Taking too much of a prescription or OTC drug</li><li>Taking&nbsp;a prescription drug prescribed to someone else</li></ul><p>When you don’t take them safely, prescription and OTC medicines can be just as addictive and dangerous as other drugs.</p><p>Commonly misused prescription or OTC drugs include:</p><ul><li>Opioid pain medicines, like Vicodin, OxyContin, or codeine</li><li>Medicines for anxiety or sleep problems, like Valium or Xanax</li><li>Medicines that treat ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder), like Adderall or Ritalin</li></ul><p>Make sure to talk to your child about the dangers of prescription drug misuse. <a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/nida.nih.gov/research-topics/parents-educators/conversation-starters?_label_=Get+tips+for+talking+about+drug+misuse+with+your+child">Get tips for talking about drug misuse with your child</a>.</p><p>Set a good example:</p><ul><li>Never take someone else’s prescription medicine or give yours to anyone else</li><li>Keep track of the medicines in your home, and store them in a locked cabinet</li><li>Get rid of unused medicines safely</li></ul>

The Basics: Medicine Misuse

<h4>Why do I need to talk to my child?</h4><p>Research shows that kids do listen to their parents. Children who learn about drug risks from their parents are less likely to start using drugs.</p><p>When kids choose not to use alcohol or drugs, they're also less likely&nbsp;to:</p><ul><li>Have serious trouble in school</li><li>Get hurt in a car accident</li><li>Be a victim of crime</li><li>Have a problem with addiction as an adult</li></ul><p>If you don't talk about it, your child may think it’s okay to use alcohol and other&nbsp;drugs.</p>

The Basics: Why It Matters

<p>Talk with your child about tobacco, alcohol, and drugs today — and keep the conversation going.</p><h4>Talk with your child early and often.</h4><p>Start conversations about your values and expectations while your child is young. Your child will get used to sharing information and opinions with you. This will make it easier for you to continue talking as they get older.</p><p>Here are some tips&nbsp;for talking with your child about tobacco, alcohol, and drugs:</p><ul><li>Use everyday events to start a conversation. For example, if you see a group of kids smoking, talk about how tobacco harms the body.</li><li>Give your child your full attention. Turn off your TV, radio, cell phone, and computer&nbsp;— and really listen.</li><li>Try not to “talk at” your child. Encourage your child to ask questions. If you don’t know the answer to a question, look it up together.</li><li><a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/http/kidshealth.org/parent/positive/talk/talk_about_drugs.html?_label_=Find+age-appropriate+ways+to+talk+to+your+child+about+drugs" id="anch_49">Find age-appropriate ways to talk to your child about drugs</a>.&nbsp;</li><li><a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/www.samhsa.gov/talk-they-hear-you/parent-resources/answering-your-childs-tough-questions?_label_=Get+more+tips+on+how+to+have+a+conversation+with+your+child" id="anch_50">Get more tips on how to have a conversation with your child</a>.</li></ul>

Take Action: Start Talking

<h4>Teach your child the facts.</h4><p>Your child needs to know how drugs can harm the brain, affect the body,&nbsp;and cause problems at home and in school. Kids who know the facts are more likely to make good choices.&nbsp;Here are some facts you can share with your child:</p><ul><li>If your child likes sports, focus on how smoking can affect athletic performance. You can also tell them how it affects their appearance, like causing bad breath and yellow teeth. <a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/www.cdc.gov/tobacco/php/data-statistics/youth-data-tobacco?_label_=Get+the+facts+on+tobacco">Get the facts on tobacco</a>.</li><li>Remind your child that alcohol is a powerful drug that slows down the body and brain. <a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/http/pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/MakeADiff_HTML/makediff.htm?_hash_=Talkingwith&_label_=Get+the+facts+on+alcohol">Get the facts on alcohol</a>.</li><li>Tell your child how other drugs — like steroids, marijuana, and prescription medicines — affect the brain and body. <a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/http/teens.drugabuse.gov/facts/index.php?_label_=Get+the+facts+on+other+drugs">Get the facts on other drugs</a>.<br>&nbsp;</li></ul><p><a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/nida.nih.gov/research-topics/alcohol/national-drug-alcohol-iq-challenge?_label_=Take+this+quiz+about+drug+facts%26nbsp%3Bwith+your+child">Take this quiz about drug facts&nbsp;with your child</a>.</p>

Take Action: Teach the Facts

<h4>Set clear rules for your child.</h4><p>Not wanting to upset their parents is the number one reason kids give for not using drugs. Your child will be less tempted to use tobacco, alcohol, and drugs if you explain your rules clearly.</p><p>Here are some things to keep in mind when you talk to your child:</p><ul><li>Explain that you set rules to keep your child safe</li><li>Tell your child you expect them not to use tobacco, alcohol, or drugs</li><li>Let your child know what will happen if they break&nbsp;the rules — and follow through if they do</li><li>Praise your child for good behavior</li></ul><h4>Help your child learn how to say “no.”</h4><p>Kids say they use alcohol and other drugs to fit in with other kids. That’s why it’s important for parents to help children build the confidence to make a healthy choice when someone offers tobacco, drugs, or alcohol.&nbsp;<a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/drugfree.org/article/prevention-tips-for-every-age/?_label_=Find+tips+for+preventing+drug+use+at+every+age" id="anch_59">Find tips for preventing drug use at every age</a>.&nbsp;</p><p>And check out these strategies to help you&nbsp;<a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/www.samhsa.gov/talk-they-hear-you/parent-resources?_label_=talk+with+your+kids+about+staying+healthy+and+drug+free" id="anch_60">talk with your kids about staying healthy and drug free</a>.</p>

Take Action: Set Rules

<h4>Set a good example.</h4><p>Here are a few steps you can take to set a good example for your child:</p><ul><li>If you smoke,&nbsp;<a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/myhealthfinder/topics/health-conditions/diabetes/quit-smoking?_label_=make+a+plan+to+quit">make a plan to quit</a></li><li>If you drink alcohol,&nbsp;<a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/myhealthfinder/topics/health-conditions/heart-health/drink-alcohol-only-moderation?_label_=don%E2%80%99t+drink+too+much+or+too+often">don’t drink too much or too often</a></li><li>If you misuse drugs,&nbsp;<a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/myhealthfinder/topics/talk-your-doctor-about-drug-misuse?_label_=%3Cspan%3Etalk+with+your+doctor+about+getting+treatment%3C%2Fspan%3E"><span>talk with your doctor about getting treatment</span></a></li><li><a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/myhealthfinder/topics/everyday-healthy-living/safety/use-medicines-safely?_label_=Use+prescription+and+OTC%26nbsp%3Bmedicines+safely">Use prescription and OTC&nbsp;medicines safely</a></li><li>Never drink or use drugs and drive</li></ul><h5>What if I’ve used drugs in the past?</h5><p>Be honest with your child, but don’t give a lot of details. Do your best to make it a 2-way conversation — ask your child what they’re thinking and if they have any questions for you. Talk to your pediatrician if you’d like more tips for telling your child about your past drug use.</p>

Take Action: Set an Example

<h4>Get help if you need it.</h4><p>If you think your child may be using drugs or alcohol, get help. Don’t wait. Getting treatment early can make a difference.&nbsp;<a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/drugfree.org/article/prepare-to-take-action/?_label_=Follow+these+steps+if+you+think+your+child+is+using+drugs+or+alcohol" id="anch_70">Follow these steps if you think your child is using drugs or alcohol</a>.</p><h5>What about cost?</h5><p>Under the Affordable Care Act, insurance plans must cover alcohol, tobacco, and drug use assessments for teens. Depending on your insurance plan, your child may be able to get an assessment at no cost to you. Check with your insurance company to find out more.</p><p>If you don't have insurance, your child may still be able to get free or low-cost assessments. <a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/findahealthcenter.hrsa.gov/?_label_=Find+a+health+center+near+you+and+ask+about+assessments+for+your+child">Find a health center near you and ask about assessments for your child</a>.</p><p>To learn more, check out these resources:</p><ul><li><a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/www.healthcare.gov/preventive-care-children/?_label_=Free+preventive+care+for+children+covered+by+the+Affordable+Care+Act%26nbsp%3B">Free preventive care for children covered by the Affordable Care Act&nbsp;</a></li><li><a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/www.healthcare.gov/health-care-law-protections/?_label_=How+the+Affordable+Care+Act+protects+you%26nbsp%3B">How the Affordable Care Act protects you&nbsp;</a></li><li><a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/www.cms.gov/files/document/roadmap-better-care-english.pdf-0?_label_=Understanding+your+health+insurance+and+how+to+use+it+%5BPDF+%E2%80%93+1.9+MB%5D">Understanding your health insurance and how to use it [PDF – 1.9 MB]</a></li></ul>

Take Action: Get Help

Talk to Your Kids About Tobacco, Alcohol, and Drugs

<p><span>It can be hard to know if your relationship is becoming unhealthy or unsafe. But there are things you can do to spot the warning signs of relationship violence&nbsp;and get help.</span></p><p><span>If you think your partner might be controlling or abusive, it's important to:</span></p><ul><li><span>Trust your feelings — if something doesn’t seem right, take it seriously</span></li><li><span>Learn the warning signs of someone who might become controlling or&nbsp;violent</span></li><li><span>Get help — call the&nbsp;</span><a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/http/www.thehotline.org/?_label_=%3Cspan%3ENational+Domestic+Violence+Hotline%3C%2Fspan%3E"><span>National Domestic Violence Hotline</span></a><span>&nbsp;at 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233 or TTY 1-800-787-3224) to find resources in your area</span></li></ul><p><span>If your partner is controlling or abusive, it’s better to get help right away. Controlling or violent relationships may get worse over&nbsp;time.</span></p><p><span>Remember: If your partner abuses you, it’s not your fault.</span></p>

<h4>What is relationship violence?</h4><p>Relationship violence is when 1 or both people in a relationship — or in a past relationship — are abusive, controlling, or aggressive toward the other person. Relationship violence can happen in a serious or casual relationship, and it can take place in person or online. Sometimes, both partners act in abusive or controlling ways. Anyone, no matter their gender, age, or sexual identity, can experience relationship violence.</p><p>Relationship violence is also called domestic abuse, dating violence, domestic violence, or intimate partner violence. <a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/www.thehotline.org/identify-abuse/domestic-abuse-warning-signs/?_label_=It+can+include">It can include</a>:</p><ul><li>Physical violence — like pushing, hitting, or throwing things</li><li>Sexual violence — like forcing or trying to force someone to do something sexual</li><li>Threats of physical or sexual violence — including threatening to hurt another person or a pet</li><li>Emotional abuse — like embarrassing a partner, keeping them away from family and friends, or speaking or yelling in a way that frightens them or puts them down&nbsp;</li><li>Financial abuse — like taking a partner’s money, controlling how they spend money, or not giving them money for necessary expenses</li><li>Stalking — like watching or following a partner, or repeatedly calling or texting even when you don’t respond</li></ul><p>A lot of the time, abuse in a relationship doesn’t start right away — or it gets worse over time. That’s why it’s important to look for warning signs. Get help if your partner is making you feel controlled or afraid — even if they haven’t hurt you physically. There are &nbsp;resources available to help you figure out if your relationship is unhealthy — and what to do next.</p><ul><li><a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/www.thehotline.org/identify-abuse/?_label_=Learn+more+about+how+to+recognize+relationship+violence+or+abuse">Learn more about how to recognize relationship violence or abuse</a></li><li><a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/www.thehotline.org/resources/abuse-in-lgbtq-communities/?_label_=Read+about+abuse+in+LGBTQ%2B+relationships">Read about abuse in LGBTQ+ relationships</a></li></ul>

The Basics: Definition

<h4>How do I know if my relationship is healthy?</h4><p><span>In healthy relationships, both partners take responsibility for their actions and work together to sort out problems. In a healthy relationship, both people:</span></p><ul><li><span>Feel respected, supported, and valued</span></li><li><span>Make&nbsp;decisions</span></li><li><span>Have friends and interests outside of the relationship</span></li><li><span>Settle&nbsp;disagreements with open and honest communication</span></li><li><span>Respect each other's privacy and space</span></li></ul>

The Basics: Healthy Relationships

<h4>How do I know if my relationship might become violent?</h4><p><span>Relationship violence can start slowly and be hard to recognize. For example, when people first start dating, it’s common to want to spend a lot of time together. But your partner asking you to spend less time with other people can also be a sign that&nbsp;your partner is trying to control your time.</span></p><p><span>Ask yourself these questions:</span></p><ul><li><span>Does my partner disrespect or insult me?</span></li><li><span>Does my partner blame me for problems that aren’t my fault, like how they treat me?</span></li><li><span>Does my partner make most of the decisions in our relationship?</span></li><li><span>Am I ever afraid to tell my partner something?</span></li><li><span>Do I ever feel forced to do things that I don't want to do?</span></li><li><span>Has my partner ever forced or pressured me to do something sexual with them when I didn’t want to?</span></li><li><span>Does my partner promise to change and then keep doing the same hurtful things?</span></li></ul><p><a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/www.womenshealth.gov/relationships-and-safety/signs-abuse?_label_=%3Cspan%3EGet+more+information+about%26nbsp%3Bthe%26nbsp%3Bsigns+of+abusive+relationships%3C%2Fspan%3E"><span>Get more information about&nbsp;the&nbsp;signs of abusive relationships</span></a><span>.</span></p><h4>What if I’m not sure if my relationship is violent?</h4><p><span>It’s okay if you’re not sure — you can still get help.</span></p><p><span>If you have questions about whether your relationship is safe, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233 or TTY 1-800-787-3224) or&nbsp;</span><a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/http/www.thehotline.org/what-is-live-chat/?_label_=%3Cspan%3Echat+online%3C%2Fspan%3E"><span>chat online</span></a><span>&nbsp;with a person who's trained to help. The hotline and chat are free and available 24/7. You don’t even have to give your name.</span></p><p><span>If you’re in danger right now, call 911.</span></p>

The Basics: Warning Signs

<h4>How can relationship violence affect health?</h4><p><span>Any kind of relationship violence or abuse can lead to other serious health problems. These include:</span></p><ul><li>Injuries or chronic (long-lasting) pain</li><li>Sexual health problems — like sexually transmitted infections (STIs) or pregnancy complications</li><li><span>Trouble sleeping</span></li><li><span>Mental health problems — like depression, anxiety, or post-traumatic stress disorder (a type of anxiety disorder you can get after experiencing something traumatic or harmful)</span></li><li><span>Trouble trusting people and building relationships</span></li><li><span>Drinking too much alcohol or using drugs</span></li></ul><p><span>Relationship violence can cause other problems too — like causing a person to miss work or school, or putting children in a dangerous situation.</span></p>

The Basics: Health Effects

<p><span>Relationship violence is never your fault. But if you think your partner is controlling or abusive, there are things you can do to get help.</span></p><h4>Make a plan.</h4><p><span>If you're in a relationship with someone who is violent or might become violent, make a safety plan. A safety plan is a set of steps you can take to keep yourself and others (like children or pets) safe if your partner becomes violent. It’s important to have a safety plan whether you’re planning to leave your partner or not.&nbsp;</span></p><ul><li><a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/www.thehotline.org/what-is-a-safety-plan/?_label_=%3Cspan%3ELearn+more+about+safety+plans%3C%2Fspan%3E"><span>Learn more about safety plans</span></a></li><li><a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/www.thehotline.org/plan-for-safety/create-a-safety-plan/?_label_=%3Cspan%3EUse+this+tool+to+make+a+safety+plan%3C%2Fspan%3E"><span>Use this tool to make a safety plan</span></a><span>.</span></li></ul><h4>Protect yourself online.</h4><p>When you look at information online using a computer, your phone, or a tablet, your device keeps a record of sites you’ve visited. And when you make calls or send text messages from a smartphone, the phone stores that information.</p><p>When you use social media, avoid posting personal information, like where you live or work or your current location. Only post information you’re comfortable with other people knowing. And keep in mind that even if your accounts are private, people that follow you can still share information that you post with others.</p><p><a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/www.thehotline.org/plan-for-safety/internet-safety/?_label_=Follow+these+technology+and+social+media+safety+tips">Follow these technology and social media safety tips</a>&nbsp;if your partner is controlling or abusive.</p>

Take Action: Plan Ahead

<p><span>If you think your relationship is unhealthy —&nbsp;or you're worried about your safety — get help now.</span></p><h4><span>Who can I call?</span></h4><p><span>If you need help or have questions about your relationship, call the&nbsp;</span><a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/http/www.thehotline.org/?_label_=%3Cspan%3ENational+Domestic+Violence+Hotline%3C%2Fspan%3E"><span>National Domestic Violence Hotline</span></a><span> at 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233). You'll be able to find a domestic violence&nbsp;agency near you or talk to a counselor over the phone.&nbsp;If you’re in danger right now, call 911.</span></p><p><a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/www.thehotline.org/what-to-expect-when-you-contact-us/?_label_=%3Cspan%3ERead+about+what+to+expect+if+you+contact+the+National+Domestic+Violence+Hotline%3C%2Fspan%3E"><span>Read about what to expect if you contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline</span></a><span>.</span></p><h4>What kind of help can I get?</h4><p><span>Domestic violence agencies can provide:</span></p><ul><li><span>Emotional support</span></li><li><span>Safety planning</span></li><li><span>A safe place to stay in an emergency</span></li><li><span>Support finding a job</span></li><li><span>Legal help</span></li><li><span>Help with housing or money</span></li></ul><h4>Can I get help for free?</h4><p><span>Yes. Domestic violence agencies offer free services, like hotlines and&nbsp;counseling. They also help people find resources, like housing or lawyers.</span></p><p><span>Under the Affordable Care Act, insurance plans must cover screening and counseling for domestic and interpersonal violence for all women. If you're a woman, you may be able to get screening and counseling at no cost to you through your insurance plan. Check with your insurance company to find out more.</span></p><p><span>If you don’t have insurance, you may still be able to get free or low-cost help. </span><a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/findahealthcenter.hrsa.gov?_label_=%3Cspan%3EFind+a+health+center+near+you+and+ask+about+domestic+violence+services%3C%2Fspan%3E"><span>Find a health center near you and ask about domestic violence services</span></a><span>.</span></p><p><span>To learn more, check out these resources:</span></p><ul><li><a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/www.healthcare.gov/preventive-care-women/?_label_=%3Cspan%3EFree+preventive+care+for+women+covered+by+the+Affordable+Care+Act%3C%2Fspan%3E"><span>Free preventive care for women covered by the Affordable Care Act</span></a></li><li><a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/www.healthcare.gov/health-care-law-protections/?_label_=%3Cspan%3EHow+the+Affordable+Care+Act+protects+you%3C%2Fspan%3E"><span>How the Affordable Care Act protects you</span></a></li><li><a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/marketplace.cms.gov/technical-assistance-resources/c2c-roadmap.pdf?_label_=%3Cspan%3EUnderstanding+your+health+insurance+and+how+to+use+it+%5BPDF+-+698+KB%5D%3C%2Fspan%3E"><span>Understanding your health insurance and how to use it [PDF - 698 KB]</span></a></li></ul><h4>What if I’m not ready to ask for help or leave my partner?</h4><p>There are many reasons why it can be hard to ask for help or leave an abusive partner. For example, you might be sharing children or a home with them, you might be afraid of what they’ll do if they find out, or you might not want to get them in trouble.</p><p>That’s why it’s so important to get support. Remember, if your partner makes you feel unsafe, there are resources to help you — whenever you’re ready.&nbsp;</p><h4>What if I think someone else is in a controlling or violent relationship?</h4><p>You can:</p><ul><li><a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/www.womenshealth.gov/relationships-and-safety/get-help/how-help-friend?_label_=%3Cspan%3E%3Cu%3EUse+these+tips+to%26nbsp%3Bhelp+someone+in+an+unhealthy+relationship%3C%2Fu%3E%3C%2Fspan%3E"><span><u>Use these tips to&nbsp;help someone in an unhealthy relationship</u></span></a></li><li><a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/www.thehotline.org/support-others/?_label_=Read+more+about+how+to+support+someone%2C+including+how+to+start+a+conversation+about+their+relationship">Read more about how to support someone, including how to start a conversation about their relationship</a></li></ul>

<p><span>If you have children, you can help them learn how to have respectful, safe relationships with friends, family, and dating partners. Understanding what a healthy relationship looks like can help protect kids from future relationship violence.&nbsp;</span></p><p><span>Use these resources to start a conversation about healthy relationships:</span></p><ul><li><a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/www.futureswithoutviolence.org/wp-content/uploads/10Tips_healthyrelationships1.pdf?_label_=Get+tips+for+talking+to+teens+about+healthy+relationships">Get tips for talking to teens about healthy relationships</a></li><li><a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/health.gov/myhealthfinder/healthy-living/sexual-health/talk-your-kids-about-sex-and-healthy-relationships?_hash_=take-action-tab&_label_=Learn+how+to+talk+to+your+kids+about+sex+and+healthy+relationships">Learn how to talk to your kids about sex and healthy relationships</a></li><li><a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/vetoviolence.cdc.gov/apps/dating-matters-toolkit/content/lgbtq-guides?_label_=Check+out+these+guides+on+healthy+relationships+for+LGBTQ%2B+teens+and+their+parents">Check out these guides on healthy relationships for LGBTQ+ teens and their parents</a></li><li><a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/www.cdc.gov/parents/essentials/teens/index.html?_label_=Find+out+more+about+parenting+teens">Find out more about parenting teens</a></li></ul>

Take Action: Talk to Your Kids about Healthy Relationships

Watch for Warning Signs of Relationship Violence

<p>Talking honestly and openly with your kids about sex and relationships is important — and it's never too early to start. Your support can help them make healthy choices and avoid risks as they grow up.</p><p>It may be hard to know where to start, especially if your parents didn’t talk to you about relationships and sex when you were growing up. The following tips and strategies can help.</p><h4>What do I say?</h4><p>Kids have different questions and concerns about sex at different ages. As your children get&nbsp;older, the things you talk about will change. Remember to:</p><ul><li>Talk early and often — you don’t have to fit everything into 1&nbsp;conversation!</li><li>Be ready to answer questions — children’s questions can tell you a lot about what they already know</li><li>Listen carefully to your kids' opinions, even if you don’t agree</li><li>Try using things that come up on TV, in music, or on social media to start a conversation</li><li>Be honest about how you're feeling — for example, if you're embarrassed or uncomfortable, it’s okay to say so</li></ul><h4>Will talking to my kids really make a difference?</h4><p>Parents are the most important influence on a young person's decisions about relationships and sex —&nbsp;even more important than friends, siblings, or the media. Most young people say that it would be easier to make decisions about sex if they could talk openly and honestly with their parents.</p><p>Young people who talk with their parents about sex are more likely to put off having sex until they're older. They're also more likely to make healthy choices, like using condoms to prevent STIs (sexually transmitted infections) and pregnancy, if they do choose to have sex. STIs are also called STDs (sexually transmitted diseases).&nbsp;</p>

The Basics: Overview 

<h4>When is the right time to start talking?</h4><p>It’s never too early to start talking to children about their bodies. Be sure to use the medical names for all body parts and explain what they do. These resources can help:</p><ul><li><a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/http/kidshealth.org/en/parents/female-reproductive-system.html?_label_=Reproductive+systems+with+a+vagina%2C+uterus%2C+and+ovaries">Reproductive systems with a vagina, uterus, and ovaries</a> (often called female reproductive systems)</li><li><a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/http/kidshealth.org/en/parents/male-reproductive.html?_label_=Reproductive+systems+with+a+penis+and+testicles">Reproductive systems with a penis and testicles</a>&nbsp;(often called male reproductive systems)</li></ul><h4>What do I tell my kids about puberty?</h4><p>Puberty is when your child's body starts to develop and change into an adult&nbsp;body. Puberty is different for each child.</p><ul><li>For girls, puberty usually starts between ages 8&nbsp;and 15 years.&nbsp;<a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/medlineplus.gov/ency/patientinstructions/000651.htm?_label_=Get+more+information+about%26nbsp%3Bwhat+puberty+is+like+for+girls">Get more information about&nbsp;what puberty is like for girls</a>.</li><li>For boys, it usually begins between ages 9&nbsp;and 16 years.&nbsp;<a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/medlineplus.gov/ency/patientinstructions/000650.htm?_label_=Get+more+information+about%26nbsp%3Bwhat+puberty+is+like+for+boys">Get more information about&nbsp;what puberty is like for boys</a>.</li></ul><p>Puberty can be a confusing and overwhelming time for many young people. You can help your kids by:</p><ul><li>Telling them that puberty is a normal part of growing up</li><li>Sharing&nbsp;facts to help them understand their changing bodies and feelings</li><li>Talking about your own puberty experiences when you were growing up</li></ul><p>As your kids get older, they may be less likely to ask you questions. So it’s a good idea for you to start conversations with them.</p>

The Basics: Bodies and Puberty

<h4>What if my child has questions about being a boy or girl?</h4><p>The important thing is to believe what your child tells you about their gender. What they say may surprise you, but remember that only your child knows how they really feel. Let them know you love them, and thank them for sharing this part of their life with you.</p><p>Some kids act or feel like they're a different gender than the sex that's listed on their birth certificate. For example, a child who was assigned male at birth may feel like a girl, not a boy. And some kids don't feel like a boy or a girl.</p><p>When kids act or feel like they're a different gender than their sex assigned at birth, it's sometimes called being "gender-diverse." Some kids may feel this way from very early on, while others may start to feel this way during puberty or as they get older.</p><p><a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/gradeschool/Pages/Gender-Diverse-Transgender-Children.aspx?_label_=Get+more+tips+for+parenting+a+gender-diverse+child">Get more tips for parenting a gender-diverse child</a>.</p>

The Basics: Gender

<h4>How can I help my kids build healthy, respectful&nbsp;relationships?</h4><p>Start conversations about what healthy and respectful relationships look like. Talk with your child about what they should expect for themselves and others in their relationships with friends, as well as in romantic or sexual relationships.</p><p>Talk about the importance of respect in all relationships, including giving and receiving consent in dating or sexual relationships. And try to model healthy and respectful relationships for your child as much as possible. &nbsp;</p><p>Families have different expectations about when and how kids can start dating or having sexual relationships. Talk about your family expectations for healthy, respectful relationships <strong>before</strong> your child starts dating — and keep checking in with them often.</p><p><a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/youth.gov/youth-topics/teen-dating-violence/characteristics?_label_=Learn+more+about+healthy+relationships">Learn more about healthy relationships</a>. You can also <a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/kidshealth.org/en/teens/healthy-relationship.html?_label_=share+this+resource+about+healthy+relationships+with+your+kids">share this resource about healthy relationships with your kids</a>.</p><h4>Talk about different kinds of relationships, including relationships with opposite-sex and same-sex partners.</h4><p>When you talk about relationships and sex, don't assume your child is only interested in opposite-sex relationships. Some young people may be interested in same-sex relationships or identify as lesbian, gay, or bisexual.&nbsp;And some may not be interested in sexual relationships at all — they may identify as asexual, for example.</p><p>It's important to let your child know that you love them and that you appreciate them sharing this part of their life with you. Young people who identify as lesbian, gay, and bisexual are less likely to be depressed if their parents are supportive. They’re also more likely to make healthy choices about sex and relationships.&nbsp; <a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/www.cdc.gov/healthyyouth/protective/factsheets/parents_influence_lgb.htm?_label_=Find+out+how+you+can+support+a+lesbian%2C+gay%2C+bisexual%2C+or+transgender+child" id="anch_49">Find out how you can support a lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender child</a>.</p>

The Basics: Healthy, Respectful Relationships

<h4>What do I tell my child about preventing pregnancy and STIs?</h4><p>Make sure your kids have the facts they need to make healthy and informed decisions about their sexual health. This includes information about pregnancy and STIs like HIV and chlamydia.</p><p>Even if you don't think your child is having sex or in a dating or romantic relationship, talk with them about ways to prevent pregnancy and STIs.</p><p>Tell your child about different kinds of birth control. It's also important to make sure your child knows how to access and use condoms to prevent STIs —&nbsp;even if they're also using another method to prevent pregnancy.</p><p>Check out these resources to learn&nbsp;more:</p><ul><li><a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/myhealthfinder/topics/health-conditions/hiv-and-other-stds/talk-your-teen-about-preventing-stds?_label_=Talk+with+Your+Teen+About+Preventing+STIs">Talk with Your Teen About Preventing STIs</a></li><li><a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/myhealthfinder/topics/everyday-healthy-living/sexual-health/choose-right-birth-control?_label_=Choose+the+Right+Birth+Control">Choose the Right Birth Control</a></li><li><a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/kidshealth.org/en/parents/questions-sex.html?_label_=Answering+Questions+About+Sex">Answering Questions About Sex</a></li><li><a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/http/kidshealth.org/parent/growth/sexual_health/about_bc.html?_label_=Birth+Control%3A+What+Parents+Need+to+Know" id="anch_56">Birth Control: What Parents Need to Know</a>&nbsp;</li></ul><h5>Ask your kids where they get information about relationships, sex, pregnancy, and STIs.</h5><p>Make sure you know where your child is getting health information. Some sources of information may be more medically accurate than others.&nbsp;</p><h5>Encourage your child to talk with their doctor about sexual health.</h5><p>Doctors can be a trustworthy source of information about relationships, sex, pregnancy, and STIs. Next time you bring your child for a doctor visit, ask if they’d like to spend a few minutes alone with the doctor to ask questions.&nbsp;</p><p><a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/www.cdc.gov/healthyyouth/protective/factsheets/OneonOnetime_FactSheet.htm?_label_=Learn+why+one-on-one+time+with+their+doctor+is+important+for+teens">Learn why one-on-one time with their doctor is important for teens</a>.</p>

The Basics: Pregnancy and STIs

<p>Kids need information from adults they trust. Use these tips to start a conversation&nbsp;today.</p><h4>Talk early and often.</h4><p>Start having conversations about your values and expectations when your kids are young. That way, they'll&nbsp;get used to sharing information and opinions with you. This will make it easier for you to keep talking as they&nbsp;get&nbsp;older.</p><p>There are lots of ways to talk to kids about relationships and sex. Try having lots of little conversations instead of 1 big talk. And remember, if you’ve been putting it off, it’s never too late to start a conversation about sexual health.</p><p>Get tips on how to:</p><ul><li><a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/family-dynamics/communication-discipline/pages/Communication-Dos-and-Donts.aspx?_label_=Communicate+with+your+child">Communicate with your child</a></li><li><a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/www.cdc.gov/healthyyouth/back-to-school/connecting-conversations.html?_label_=Connect+with+your+child+through+conversation">Connect with your child through conversation</a></li><li><a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/www.cdc.gov/healthyyouth/protective/factsheets/talking_teens.htm?_label_=Talk+to+your+teen+about+sex+and+relationships" id="anch_61">Talk to your teen about sex and relationships</a></li></ul><h4>Start small.</h4><p>Try not to give your kids too much information at once. Give them time between conversations to think. They may come back later and ask questions.</p><h4>Practice active listening.</h4><p>Active listening is a way to show your kids that you're paying attention and trying to understand their thoughts and feelings. Try these tips:</p><ul><li>Nod your head and make eye contact to show that you're interested in what they have to say.</li><li>Repeat back what your child says in your own words. For example:&nbsp;“What I'm hearing&nbsp;is that you're feeling frustrated with our rules. You feel that you're old enough to make your own&nbsp;decisions.”</li></ul><p><a href="https://odphp.health.gov/myhealthfinder/api/outlink/topicsearch.json/https/www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/family-dynamics/communication-discipline/Pages/Components-of-Good-Communication.aspx?_label_=Get+more+listening+tips+for+parents" id="anch_62">Get more listening tips for parents</a>.</p>

<h4>Ask questions.</h4><p>Give your kids time and space to talk about their feelings and thoughts. Ask for their opinions. Be sure to listen, even if you don't agree.</p><p>Try asking questions like:</p><ul><li>Have you talked about puberty, sex, or relationships in health class? With friends? Do you have any questions?</li><li>When do you think it’s okay to start dating or having romantic relationships?</li><li>When do you think a person is ready to have sex?</li></ul><p>Always take your kids' values and opinions seriously. This shows that you respect what they have&nbsp;to say — and it can help them feel more comfortable talking to you.</p><h4>Be ready to answer questions.</h4><p>When your kids ask you questions, ask them what they think first. Their answers will tell you more about what they're asking and why. This also gives you time to think about your answer.</p><p>Do your best to answer questions honestly and correctly. If you don’t know the answer to a question, it's okay! You can say, “I’m not sure. Let’s look that up&nbsp;together.”</p><p>Keep in mind that kids get information about sex from lots of different sources, like friends, the internet, social media, and TV. They may get conflicting and inaccurate information, which can be confusing. That’s another reason why it’s important for you to answer questions as clearly and accurately as you can.</p>

Take Action: Ask and Answer Questions

<h4>Use media to start a conversation.</h4><p>Kids see and hear messages about relationships and sex every day in the media —&nbsp;like on TV, in music, and online. When something comes up in&nbsp;a social media post, TV show, or song, use it as an opportunity to start a conversation with your kids.</p><h4>Talk in the car or in the kitchen.</h4><p>It can sometimes be easier to talk about sex if you're doing something else at the same time. Try asking a question when you're driving or cooking dinner.</p><p>You can still show&nbsp;that you're listening by nodding your head or repeating what your child says to you.</p><h4>Be honest.</h4><p>It’s okay to feel embarrassed or uncomfortable. Be honest about how you're feeling. Remember, when you're honest with your kids, they're more likely to be honest with you.</p><h4>Talk with other parents.</h4><p>Keep in mind that you're not the only parent thinking about how to talk to kids about relationships and sex. Ask other parents how conversations with their kids are going. You may be able to get useful tips and ideas.</p><p>Talking to other parents is also a great way to learn more about the messages other kids are getting about relationships and sex.</p>

Take Action: Conversation Tips

Talk to Your Kids About Sex and Healthy Relationships

<p>It might be hard to talk to a partner about getting tested for sexually transmitted infections (STIs), also called sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) — but it’s important to have the conversation. Chances are your partner will be glad you brought it up.</p><h2>Talk before you have sex.</h2><p>You can say:</p><ul><li>“Let’s get tested before we have sex. That way we can look out for each other."</li><li>“Many people who have an STI don't know it. Why take a chance when we can know for sure?”</li></ul><p>There are other things you may want to talk to a sex partner about. For example:</p><ul><li>Sexual history —&nbsp;like what type of protection you usually use&nbsp;(for example, condoms or dental dams) or the last time you got tested for STIs (including HIV)</li><li>Risk factors —&nbsp;like whether you’ve had sex without a condom or used drugs with needles</li></ul><h2>Share the facts.</h2><p>You can say:</p><ul><li>“Most STIs are easy to treat. And when they’re treated early, STIs are less likely to cause long-term health problems.”</li><li>“STI tests are quick, simple, and usually painless. For example, rapid HIV tests can provide results from just a swab inside the mouth in only 20 minutes."</li><li>"If you want to get tested at home, you can get an HIV home test or self-testing kits for other STIs."</li><li>"If you don't feel comfortable talking about STIs with your regular doctor, you can get tested at a clinic instead."&nbsp;</li></ul><h2>Show that you care.</h2><p>You can say:</p><ul><li>“I really care about you. I want to make sure we're both healthy.”</li><li>“I've been&nbsp;tested for STIs, including HIV. Are you willing to do that, too?”</li><li>“Let’s get tested together.”</li></ul><h2>Agree to stay safe.</h2><p>You can say:</p><ul><li>“If we’re going to have sex, using condoms is a good way to protect us both from STIs. Let’s use condoms every time we have sex.”</li><li>“We can enjoy sex more if we know it’s safe.”</li></ul>

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